


I keep hearing you're concerned about my happiness

by Blossomdriver



Category: Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware, Half-Life
Genre: Amputation, Benrey is weird but what else is new, Black Mesa Sweet Voice, I dont know im still learning how to write these characters, M/M, Major Character Injury, Mild OoC, Phantom pain, Post-Act 3 Part 3, Tenderness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:28:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23661577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blossomdriver/pseuds/Blossomdriver
Summary: Gordon can't sleep and Benrey helps him take care of his wounds
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 19
Kudos: 519





	I keep hearing you're concerned about my happiness

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place immediately after the end of Act 3 Part 3 and pre Act 4 part 1
> 
> The title comes from the song Flowers on the Wall - The Statler Brothers (it's been my quarantine bop)

Gordon felt light-headed, uncertain if it was to the fact he'd lost a lot of blood over the day or his body started to come out of shock. 

That was the least of his worries right now. For right now, he can't trust himself sleeping. Having an underlying concern of dying while sleeping.

Gordon found a corner to rest in a few feet away from the Science Team - who were all sleeping soundly. Watching as the room spun in such a way that made his stomach churn. Squeezing his eyes shut to keep the nauseous feeling down. 

He keeps his eyes shut for a few minutes, taking in deep breathes - hoping it’s enough to keep from throwing up all over the ground. A few more minutes pass before Gordon feels confident in himself to open his eyes again. 

So Slowly, Gordon re-opens his eyes and when the room is no longer spinning in circles. He lets out a heavy sigh. 

On the other side of the room, Benrey sat unmoving on one of the plywood crates. Staring blankly at the wall in front of him.

Never once had Gordon catch Benrey sleeping. Thinking that perhaps he was one of those people who slept with their eyes open. It didn't feel too farfetched for the anomaly that Benrey was. 

Gordon opens his mouth to say something but quickly snaps it shut when he sees Benrey turns to look at him.

“Why are you staring at me?” Benrey asks in his usual dead-panned voice - brows furrowed. And Gordon blames his blood loss for the reason a shiver runs up his spine at the words. 

“I'm not!" Gordon snaps back - quietly as to not wake up the others. 

“You trying to start a fight, huh?" He says, making Gordon roll his eyes. "That's gonna be hard when you only got one hand.” Benrey taunts. 

If Gordon wasn’t so tired and drained, then maybe he would fight back. But he’s come to learn that it was hopeless trying to say anything back to him. His words most of the time falling upon deaf ears. 

“Whatever,” Gordon muttered under his breath, waving his stumped hand in the air. “Just go back to whatever you were doing.” 

Benrey doesn’t say anything in response. Instead, he kept his eyes on Gordon and it was starting to bother him. The uneasy feeling like he needed to scratch himself to making the itching feeling of having the other looking at him stop. 

“What do you want!” Gordon asked harshly.

“Huh?” He replies, breaking out of his train of thought.

“Why do you keep staring at me like that!” Gordon added. 

“Like what?” Gordon groaned and placed his face in his one good hand. “This is hopeless.” He muttered bitterly into his palm.

“That looks like it hurts.” The words made Gordon lift his head. “What?”

“That looks like it hurts.” He motions with his head to Gordon’s missing hand. That prompts Gordon’s face to twist into a scowl. “Yeah, It hurts, no thanks to you dickhead.”

“Wow, rude.” 

“You know, I could be nice and help stop the pain.” 

“Oh yeah, and how?” Gordon was cautious of where this was heading.

“Only will do it if you show me your passport.” And never in this entire journey had Gordon wanted nothing more than to shoot Benrey in the fact than in this very minute.

“Fuck off,” Gordon says in defeat. Slumping his back against the wall, making a clicking noise with his tongue. 

As Gordon had made himself comfortable against the cold concrete wall, red hot pain bloomed in his wrists. Bitting hard at the inside of his cheek to keep from screaming out - hard enough that he could taste copper in his mouth. 

His knuckles turned white from the tight grip he had on his forearm. Cradling his arm against his chest as he curls into a ball.

It felt like his hand was still there, free to bend and rotate his wrists and fingers as nothing happened. But the pain that came with it was excruciating and Gordon wanted nothing more than it to be gone already.

The outside world beyond his labored breathing and the blood rushing in his ears was blocked out. Unable to take notice in the sudden creaking of wood with lack of weight or footfalls upon the ground. 

The only thing that managed to snap Gordon out of his personal moment of pain was the feeling of something touching his shoulder. His body instantly tensed up at the contact - seeing it as some sort of threat. 

Blurry tear-filled eyes lift to see Benrey hovering over him. The tightness in his chest worsened as he braced himself for the worse. 

However, what occurred instead isn't what he was anticipating. 

Benrey knelt in front of Gordon, taking the wounded arm tenderly as he could in his hands. Pulling it out and away from Gordon’s chest. 

Gordon was shocked - seeing how carefully Benrey was being. While also not lingering on the uptick of his heart-rate.

Benrey opened his mouth and teal orbs spilled from his mouth in a low waterfall hum - onto the opened wound.

Gordon watched in horror - feeling himself start to panic. Desiring to understand what the hell Benrey was attempting to do. Failing to push himself away from the other man. Sensing a feeling of entrapment between the wall and Benrey.

It stung as if someone dumped an entire bottle of hydrogen peroxide over the open wound. Gordon bitting back a scream the pressed against his teeth. Still trying not to wake up the rest with pain-filled cries. 

Yet, just as swiftly as the pain came, it was gone. 

Blinking a few times. Gordon's eyes trailed down to the amputated hand. Witnessing the teal color dissipate into the air. All while Benrey still held onto his forearm. 

Neither of them knew what to say next. Just sorta sitting there in the silence once more as both of them stared at each other.

“You know, you’re an idiot for getting your hand cut off,” Benrey said in a poor attempt to deflate the tension in the room. It just furthered cemented Gordon’s hatred for the other man.

“Way to ruin the mood.” Gordon comment as he pulled his arm away from Benrey, letting it rest limply in his lap. 

Barney leaned back on his heels, though not once taking his eyes off of Gordon - who still found it uncomfortable.

“Can you two lovebirds keep it down, some people are trying to sleep!” Bubby’s voice pipes up and it scares the shit out of both Gordon and Benrey. Causing Gordon to jump and whip his head to the side - in the direction of the sleeping scientists.

“Isn’t young love wonderful!” Dr. Coomer adds to the conversation. Even when he was still asleep. 

Gordon groaned and buried his head into his hand once more. To shield his burning cheeks from any prying eyes.

_"God damnit!"_

**Author's Note:**

> this fic took me so much longer than i thought it would and i feel like im not the same person as i was
> 
> im sorry if this is cringe i need to remember how to write


End file.
